Dear Doulas: Please Stop Scaring Your Clients!
Doula Support During a Public Health Crisis
by Celeste Kraft - The Birth Mentor on 03/25/20
In response to the COVID-19 pandemic,
hospital administrators are having to make tough decisions in an attempt to
halt the spread of the coronavirus. One of these decisions has been to limit
the number of people entering their doors—including doulas.
These decisions are not made lightly
and don't reflect a lack of understanding of patient rights or an ignorance of
the documented benefits of doula care. And they certainly don't reflect
a disregard for patient concerns or birth experiences!
These drastic measures are merely a
reflection of the drastic times facing our nation!
While this may be understandably
distressing to a client who spent weeks or months finding and hiring a professional birth doula, this is a time when the “emotional support” component
of doula work can really shine!
Doulas are adept at helping their
clients deal with the unexpected, and now is no different! Doulas around the
world are calmly helping their clients adjust to changes in how they
envisioned their birth. And doulas have quickly adapted their services so they can still provide support—virtually!
In contrast, some doulas have
responded quite differently to this move to protect the health and safety of
patients, healthcare workers, and the community. They have declared--unequivocally--that these
changes WILL cause more interventions, more birth trauma, and
more perinatal mood disorders such as depression and PTSD. End of discussion.
Instead of instilling confidence and decreasing fear in expectant parents, they are inadvertently instilling fear and decreasing confidence!
To these doulas I would like to say:
Please stop! Stop projecting trauma and negativity
onto birthing families!
This is a stressful and vulnerable
enough time even when there’s NOT a pandemic going on. Regardless of your stand
on the ethics of doulas offering in-person support during this time, I think we
can all agree that now is not the time to contribute to the fear and stress of
a person about to give birth!
If your client is convinced they'll have a
horrible birth unless you are present, then you might want to consider these
questions:
Part of our job as doulas is to help
clients navigate changes to their birth plan. Whether the change is due to a
prenatal diagnosis, a labor complication, or a pandemic, our job is to remain
calm and unbiased, not to get up in arms.
I am not saying
birth trauma is not real. But if the time some doulas spent rallying, demanding our "rights”, stirring up fear, and projecting trauma onto clients was instead spent on helping clients find
their strength, own their power, use their voice, and walk into this experience
with confidence, there’d be no worry about them being traumatized by even a
major shift in their birth plan--like a pandemic!
So, dear doulas, can we please focus on what we do best…providing
unbiased, non-judgmental support to our clients? Virtual services may not be
ideal, but in this less-than-ideal season, it can go a long way in helping our
clients feel empowered and reach their goals!
It's not about us or what we think of the change in plans. It's about helping
them have a positive experience even with the changes. Even if those changes include the absence of their doula or--worse yet--their
partner!
Know What Can Be REALLY Spooky???
by Celeste Kraft - The Birth Mentor on 10/30/17
Q: What's scarier than ghosts and goblins???
A: Bringing home one of these:
Ask any new or seasoned
parent, and they’ll tell you that while these cute little creatures look
innocent enough, they come with the power to turn parents into zombies!
Fortunately, there are
some things you can do beforehand to make life easier when your “lil' punkin” arrives!
Following are three easy steps to consider while preparing for life after baby...
1. Make a Plan.
Most expectant parents
spend months planning their baby’s birthday, but give little thought to after the birth. While preparing
for your child’s birth is very important (to mother and baby) even more important is planning for the days, weeks, and
months to come.
Things to consider: What
are realistic expectations to have after a baby? Expectations of yourself, your partner, and your baby? How will your roles change? Who will be
responsible for what? Who will do chores like cleaning, shopping, laundry, and meal prep? What’s normal newborn behavior? Who will get up when the baby cries? How often should your baby eat, pee, and
poo? How will you know if they’re eating
enough or sleeping enough? How will you
ensure that YOU’RE eating enough and sleeping enough?
Once you’ve assessed your needs…
2. Recruit your team
Write down a list of friends and family members who will support you and help keep you alive during the early weeks of life with your new human.
Things to consider: Are the people on your support team Helpers or Holders?
Helpers are people who want to DO something, who thrive on helping in practical ways. Still need a crib put together? Wishing your laundry would disappear and come back clean and folded? Can’t find your kitchen sink? Talk to the Helpers in your life now and see what kind of availability they can offer after baby comes (and maybe even before!). When someone says, “Let me know if you need anything” be prepared! Say, “Well actually, these are some things I’m going to need…how would you like to help?” (Hey, they asked!)
Holders are those whose idea of helping is coming over to get baby snuggles. Or maybe they’d like to help in more practical ways but are physically unable. Regardless, Holders are looking forward to holding and loving on your baby! Most babies go through a period of increased crying from around three to six weeks of age. This happens to coincide with the time many women are wanting to start doing more for themselves again…if only baby didn’t need to constantly be held! This is the perfect time to call in the Holders! While they may be disappointed at not getting holding time early on, it’s important in the first few weeks for parents to have lots of skin-to-skin bonding time with their baby. But when baby hits that fussier phase, the soothing techniques your Holders have been itching to share and those extra sets of loving arms will be put to good use.
3. Consider calling in a professional.